In 2021 my husband and I traveled to Spain. We explored old cities, toured museums and cathedrals, and ate our weight in patatas bravas. But of all the wondrous new things I've discovered about Spanish culture, nothing has been quite as wondrouslike the bidets. Many bathrooms come with one — toilet paper and very old plumbing don't mix — and while I was initially intimidated ("do I have to...do I waddle over there...?"), I loved the contraption. There's really nothing like the invigorating jet of water on your butt letting you know you're really clean. But this cultural exchange also had a downside: since I've been back from Europe, using toilet paper alone feels... uncivilized. Unfortunately, installing a bidet at home in my tiny 1962 bathrooms was out of the question.
When a Tushy PR representative asked me if I would be interested in trying the Tushy Classic 3.0, a bidet attachment that can be installed right on your toilet, I was intrigued, hopeful and a little skeptical. I've craved a bidet for years, but how should something that attaches directly to my toilet compare to an entire appliance? Certainly it wouldn't be nearly as effective. Friends? Itsurpassednot only my expectations but also my hopes.
- Colors:White with bamboo, platinum or bronze knob; "biscuit" (a warm beige color) with a platinum or bronze knob; or the Limited Edition black with a golden knob.
- Size:One size fits most standard toilets.
- Who is it for:Theoretically anyone who poops, although we'll talk about restrictions in a moment.
The Tushy is a slim device that you install under your toilet seat. Simply unscrew your toilet seat, place the Tushy on the bowl, connect the device to your toilet's water supply and replace the toilet seat. That's it. The company says this process takes 10 minutes, which is usually 20-30 minutes in company lingo, but my partner really got it hooked up and working in that time.
Once installed, it's ready to use. Just do your business and turn the knob that protrudes from the side of the toilet seat. The nozzle moves from its downward resting position at the back rim of the toilet bowl and sprays a jet of (clean!) water directly at your B-hole — and I say “direct” because you determine the perfect angle for how wide you throw the nozzle rotates. There's even a small switch near the knob that angles it higher than the standard flush if needed. The more you twist the knob, the stronger the jet, which can range from "dainty spritz" to "OMG AHHHHH!" Whatever your preferred intensity, in about 30 to 60 seconds (honestly, 60 seconds feels like overkill, but shit happens, as they say) your butt will be thoroughly cleaned. Just pat dry with some toilet paper and you're done.
When introducing me to the brand, Tushy's PR rep was kind enough to send me the "complete Tushy system". This includes the bidet attachment as the centerpiece, together with...
- A tushy ottoman
This stool allows you to prop your feet up when you use the toilet and directs your body more towards squatting. This positionactually helps you poop betterand with less stress.
- A tushy brush
Like a toilet scrubber, but instead of a brush that we all just shut up and pretend it's not gross and crawling with germs, the Tushy brush is less of a brush and more of a claw gripper. With this you pick up lemon and tea tree oil-infused, biodegradable coconut husk scrubbers that can be thrown away after a single use.
- A tushy stand and eight boxes of bamboo toilet paper
Basically a toilet paper stand, but instead of a roll of paper, it holds a box of bamboo tissues. The idea behind this design is that instead of mindlessly tearing up a lot more paper than you need, just grab a tissue or two to pat your butt dry. I was slightly skeptical of the claims that the tissues were flushable, mainly because "flushable" doesn't mean "septic and sewer safe". You can flush a whole lot of things clogging up your toilet, folks. (Yes, we're talking about you, wet wipes!) But after doing some research, it appears that not only is bamboo toilet paper flushable, but it can besecureflushable.
For and against
- It's super easy to install.And not just building specific Swedish furniture.Actuallysimply.
- Your b-hole will never feel cleaner.I know it's a bit awkward to say, but I'm talking about bidets and you're reading about them, and that really is the most important topic, isn't it?
- It completely changes the period week for the better.I can't imagine how helpful that would have been after the birth.
- It's easy enough for kids to use.My kids are in elementary school and are big fans. However, I've spoken to friends with toddlers and a Tushy, and they've told me that preschoolers and younger kids are too young to really use it properly (i.e. without spraying yourself and the bathroom), although your mileage may vary .
- It really reduces toilet paper usage.Again, not to get too graphic here, but the toilet paper (or bamboo towels if you go for the full system) is really only used for drying purposes. There is little to nothing to clean up after using the Tushy.
- This thing is great for sensitive butts.If you have a sensitive butt or are plagued by hemorrhoids (perhaps since you pushed that big ol' baby out...), not having to actually get inside to wipe yourself is extremely comfortable.
- Splashes may occasionally occur.Not much, but depending on where you sit and how powerful you choose to jet, water can squirt out or splash back onto the toilet seat.
- Cold days = cold water.On a typical day, the water temperature doesn't matter at all. But if it's very cold, the water coming through the pipes will be similarly cool. It is worth pointing out here that another model – theTushy Spa– has a hot water function.
- go full throttlequiteintensive.Obviously this is within your control, but every now and then I've cranked the knob up further than intended, and the surprise isn't particularly pleasant. Other members of my family have also reported this issue.
- Using toilets without a bidet function feels like camping.This is a scam that appeals to the pro, but seriously – this is itso annoyingnow having to go to the toilet anywhere except my own bathroom. I've become like the protagonist inthe princess and the Pea: too fine and delicate to deal with even the slightest discomfort.
The Final Verdict
Allow me to answer this question with a screenshot of a text exchange between me and my husband after he installed the Tushy Classic 3.0 that was given to us...
"We need one like this for upstairs too," he wrote, along with a picture of the Tushy installed in my (very retro) bathroom.
"Yeeeeesss!" I replied. "That's good?"
"It's easy to install and sprays DIRECTLY up your A-hole," he replied bluntly.
And indeed wetatGo out and buy a second one within a few weeks for all the "pro" reasons listed above. If I had a third bathroom, I would have bought a third. Remember when I said it feels uncivilized to use a toilet that doesn't have a bidet function? Well, that extended to my own home - if anyone else was in the downstairs bathroom, I had to go upstairs and do my businesslike a farmer. Ultimately we didn't settle for a second full system, although we did consider jumping in for a second Tushy ottoman and may well do so in the future.
I would like to quote my 11 year old who I consulted when I decided to write about this. "I would say once you have it you realize you can't live without it now. It's just all around good. It's just fun.”
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